2 Years Ago....A Look Back

On November 1st, 2015, my life changed forever. And I'm not exaggerating. It was a Sunday night and it was quiet. The kids were all snug in their beds, Todd was in his office and I was laying on the couch in my living room pondering a few things.
Let's rewind a little bit. Back to June of the same year. The LDS church released a series of essays about specific church doctrines to help dispell any myths and help it's members understand the history of the church. It was in one of those essays that I learned Joseph Smith had practiced polygamy. Say what you will....I was not taught that in Sunday School. I knew Brigham Young had many wives, but not Joseph Smith. As far as I was concerned, he and Emma were a happily married monogamous couple. Nothing I was taught depicted otherwise. But in reality, Emma did not support the practice of polygamy and it caused her much distress and heartache.  You can read the essay here if you'd like. https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng

I reached out to a friend I hadn't spoken to in several years and she pointed me to a podcast called The Year of Polygamy. I highly suggest looking it up. Lindsay Hansen Park does a fabulous job relaying journal entries from the wives of Joseph Smith. Some of the information is factual, some speculative....But you cannot deny the facts. So many of these women were heartbroken. And some conceded to marriages because of threats that Joseph would be killed if they would not. So, down the rabbit hole I went. I was extremely nervous to bring up the subject with Todd. My heart would race and I legitimately thought that if I voiced any doubts that he would be upset and our marriage might end. But one night I got brave. I brought up the podcast and we searched wikipedia articles. He even listened to a couple of episodes with me. I'm grateful that my nervousness faded fast. We were introduced to an online community of questioning Mormons and those who had left the faith. It was the support group I needed. I wasn't the only one experiencing these doubts AND I was normal! The judgments I held against friends and family who left the church quickly faded from reasons like being offended and wanting to sin, to nothing of the sort! If I was supposed to feel the spirit when things were right and true and good, this feeling was far from it. What I was learning was not right or good. So, that's where my shelf began to shake. Because of learning about Joseph Smith's marriages.

On November 1st, 2015, my life changed forever. And I'm not exaggerating. I had learned about a document called the CES Letter about 6 months prior but didn't have a strong desire to read it. I still believed in the core principals of the church. I was inactive, but I was fine. I was a believer.
On this night, I decided to read it. It is an 84 page letter written by Jeremy Runnells to an unnamed CES Director. In it, he lays out many questions he has regarding church doctrine, hoping to get answers to them. By page 32, I made the decision that I no longer believed in the core principals of the LDS church. I went into Todd's office and was distraught. He asked if I was ok. I said no and started sobbing. My heart had been ripped out of my chest and it was hard to breath. I couldn't believe what was happening in my life. What was real? What was true? What would my parents say? I couldn't read any more that night and finished the rest the next day. I just couldn't believe that I didn't know these things and felt so much anger towards the church. And, in true Sarah fashion, I did not hide my anger very well. Facebook became by venting ground. I offended many people I love and I have since apologized. It was all so new and raw and I handled it poorly. Regardless, what I was reading were true facts! Here's the kicker....November 5th 2015 the infamous exclusion policy was released. Oh wonderful.... kick me while I'm down. My heartache spread from my heart throughout my entire body... aching for my friends and their children. 4 days after my life turned upside down and now this. I was depressed. We had already planned a trip to Vegas with a couple of friends and I drank. I drank enough to be sick. It was perfect timing. Letting go for a couple of days and not being judged for it. I don't regret it.

On an evening in October of 2016, we had a visit from the youth doing a service project. The encounter was less than pleasant. I was friendly and accepting of their service, but the leaders were rude and I felt like a number and not a person. I was a service project and I hated that. As soon as they left I decided to resign my membership. Todd and the kids are still on the records.

It's been a ride filled with every single emotion. It hasn't been easy. This year has been the worst. But I won't apologize for the good things that have come out of it. I am accepting of everyone. I love more and I am not as afraid to be myself and show myself. So, for all of you out there who accept me for me...Thank you. ❤

Happy Fall (sort of)

Okay, so I can't believe it's been OVER a year since I've blogged! I'm hoping to change that. We'll see. :) Last night the boys and I made pumpkin rice krispy treats that I'd found on Pinterest. They didn't turn out AS cute, but the boys were excited to make them and they turned out cute enough. Here are some pictures of my first ever experience making rice krispy treats!

Josh getting a turn to stir

And Bradley's turn

Putting on the tootsie roll stems. :)

The green icing was so hard to squeeze out, so Todd just did the first row. They're not as orange as they're supposed to be, but I kinda like how they turned out....with specks of red, yellow and white. And they were delicious!!
P.S. This is what they're supposed to look like. Lol!
http://pinterest.com/pin/240813609/

Family Pictures

Click the link to view our family pictures. I don't know how we're gonna choose!!!
http://events.thisislifephotography.com/Portraits-2

The password is: williamson_032011

Welcome to the Williamsons!

I made this today (during naptime). When else am I going to be able to do things like this, huh? I call this my "All Year 'Round Wreath". It's simple and I like it! This was my inspiration. http://www.lilluna.com/2010/06/tutorial-tuesday-personalized-door.html

I feel like it needs a little something else to make it complete, but I just can't put my finger on it. Any suggestions are welcome. ;)

Quick Stats

Bradley's 1 year Stats:

Weight- 22.6 (50%)
Length- 29.5 (50%)
Head Circ.- 45 1/2 cm (50%)

This is mainly for my records. That's all! :)

Happy 1st Birthday Bradley!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen. We have a birthday boy in the house! Bradley turned 1 today! I'm going to say it again (for the thousandth time). TIME FLIES! We've been having lots of fun, so I guess that's what happens! He is the most amazing baby. The thing I love most about Bradley is that he's always smiling. He charms everyone who meets him. I'm so lucky to be his Mom. :)

I can't believe I'm 1!!!

My brothers got me this cool truck. Thanks bros!

This light up wand is from my cousins Ryan, Jack, Kyle, Ally, and Cole.

This is Bradley's cousin Cole. Cole is 6 days older than Bradley. When they were both newborns, it was hard to tell them apart. :)

Grandma and Bradley. Bradley, I don't know how to say this delicately, but I'm not sure you should've had that cupcake.....

The PERFECT picture of my ANGEL! I was so excited for him to wear this shirt and hat I made. Didn't they turn out so cute??!!

Hurry Mom!! I want my pumpkin surprise cupcake NOW! (They were delish!!)

Diving in head first

I'm about to get very messy in a minute!

Oh yeahhhh!

Taking the whole thing all at once!

The decor. Emily, thanks for taking time out of your day to help me with this! You're the best!

The after party. The clothes are in the washer. :)

As for Bradley's 1 year stats, I won't know until Monday. Here are a few of the things Bradley is doing at 1 year old:

-Says "bye bye" and "night, night"
-Waves
-Says "uh oh" "guys!" and "boys!"
-Todd and I practice his walking and he's ALMOST there. He cruises around on his Eeyore bike and his walker.
-He has 8 teeth and maybe more on the way. He's been a little cranky around night time lately.



Happy Birthday Bradley! You are mommy's angel baby. I love you so much!!

Backyard Fun!

Our winter grass FINALLY grew in all the way and the boys are now allowed to play in the yard. Man, it was torture for them to have to play on the patio for 2 weeks! It didn't make my life easy either. :)

I love this picture. I love the look on Tyler's face. He sincerely loves his baby brother. He was having so much fun that night doing under-dog with Bradley's swing.

Josh was a super hero flying on his swing. He was having a blast!

Baby Shower Gift

I made this gift for my friend Lindsay. We actually met at her wedding! She booked our photo booth (scrapBOOTH) for her reception. We had several phone conversations regarding the booth and all I could think about was how NICE she was! I seriously hadn't spoken with a client like her EVER! She is a scrap-booker and provided all of her own embellishments to put in her book. She was an amazing client and is turning out to be an amazing friend. Anyway, her and her husband, Billy, wasted no time starting their family. :) They are expected to have their baby GIRL ,Athena, by mid-end of January.

I had such a fun time putting this together. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of the onesie I made. It was pink with white and silver ruffles on the bum and a cup cake applique on the front. I'll have to have Lindsay take a picture of it so I can show you guys. It was the 3rd one I've made and I think they are so cute! Can you tell I want a girl really, REALLY bad??!! I'm living my dream vicariously through my friends. LOL!
I do have to say that this was all TODD'S idea! If you know Todd, I'm sure you can believe it. He really has such great, creative ideas. I was just proud that I was able to pull it off. :) Happy Baby Shower Lindsay! You are going to be a wonderful Mother!

Brotherly Love

Halloween night I went to a movie with a friend and Todd got the camera out to capture the true essence of these boys. I love them all so much!

Halloween!

This year we went to our ward's trunk or treat to celebrate Halloween. The boys had a GREAT time! Bradley was Eeyore, Josh a little devil, Tyler a pirate, and I was a flapper. We ate some yummy chili and desserts, then I handed out candy while Todd walked with the boys to do the trunk or treat.

Isn't Bradley the cutest Eeyore you've ever seen?

Tyler bowling

Yes, he IS a little devil!

Scary spider!!

Josh and his best buddy Ryder. They love each other so much!

The crew! Zane, Tyler, Ryder and Josh!

Bradley and Mommy

Me and Kari. (Ryder and Zane's mom) We have become great friends over the past several months. :)

Happy Halloween from The Williamson Family!

Coming This Saturday. Oct. 23rd!

Go to www.boutiqueinthebarn.blogspot.com to see all of the awesome things for sale! Over a dozen vendors with homemade crafts to die for! Be one of the first 50 people there and receive a free swag bag filled with lots of goodies!!

Bradley is 10 months old!

Bradley turned 10 months on Saturday! I can't believe he's almost 1!

My First 5k!

So, I signed up to run a 5k! For those who don't know, that's 3.1 miles. It's on October 2nd in Tempe. I've been training for 3 weeks now and I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Seriously.....I haven't run a mile since I was probably 10. I JUST ran a mile without stopping yesterday. Sheesh! Although it's not much yet, it was really encouraging to see that I've improved. Anyway, here are a couple pictures of my teammates. Yeah, we like to have fun when we're not training. :)

I didn't get much air on this one. LOL!
Left to right- Kari, Kami, Emily, Sarah L., Cheryl, Me (The whitey!)

We were able to hold this pose for about 1 second! Luckily that's when the picture was taken. :)
Top- Emily
Middle Row- Me, Kami
Bottom- Cheryl, Kari (Our Team Leader), Sarah L.

9 months!

Bradley is 9 months old today! He's getting so big and cuter every day! The picture above is from his first bath in the tub a few days ago. He just loves it! He had his well visit today and his stats are:

Weight- 17lbs. He didn't gain any weight from his 6 month visit! It kinda freaked me out, but the dr told me what foods to give him and we'll come back in a couple weeks for a weight check. Right now he's in the 5th percentile.

Length- 27 1/2. 25th percentile

He says dada, baba, papa, and makes other random sounds and clicks his tongue. He just laughs when I tell him to say mama. HaHa! He's finally okay with sitting up. He used to arch his back and throw himself backwards! He's cruising all over the furniture and finally figured out how to get down himself yesterday! I can't feed him in the bumbo anymore because he crawls out. So he's getting used to his highchair. He has the CHEESIEST grin! He scrunches his face to where his eyes are almost completely closed! I absolutely LOVE IT!!! Right now he's sleeping peacefully, but when he wakes up I'm sure he won't be so happy. He's currently suffering from an ear infection and a new tooth popping through. How dare he get both at the same time! :) But normally he is just such a happy baby. I'm so glad we made it through the first 6 months of constant fussiness. Happy 9 month birthday Bradley! We love you!!

8 Months! Really?!

Bradley is 8 months old today! Time is going by too quickly! We just love him so much and are so glad that he is a part of our little family.

Here are a few things about Bradley at this age:

-He has 5 teeth with one coming in any day!
-He is a master crawler and eater of bananas.
-He can sit up, but he really doesn't like to.
-He has begun to pull himself up to things to his knees.
-Says dada all the time. Still working on mama.
-I think he weighs somewhere around 18lbs.
-I discovered, over the past 2 weeks, that he really enjoys the water.

Those are just a few of the many things about Bradley at 8 months old. Those who know him tend to fall in love with him instantly....as long as he flashes those pearly whites. :) We love you so much Bradley James!!!

High Chair!

I put Bradley in his high chair for the first time today. I went to Walmart and bought lots of little snacks for him and he loved it! Although he did get a tad frustrated when he kept dropping his biscuit. He loved the little strawberry snacks though. :) He's getting so big too! 7 1/2 months old!